Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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