I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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