My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
