Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
