I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
