Just fell off a train. Bad.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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