he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
