Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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