I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i think i have herpe
just one?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
