Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
