I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it's like iHOP with fire
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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