careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
