How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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