Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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