My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
