going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
