the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
