you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
