he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
