Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
