Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
