My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Randomize
