how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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