If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
