How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
