And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
