I should be sponsored by Trojan
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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