Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
