I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
