literally had 100 drinks last night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
