I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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