party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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