Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
