Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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