Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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