i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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