I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
