She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
