Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
