i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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