My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
