NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
