My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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