Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
they call him Oral-B. enough said
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
