U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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