Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
