Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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