I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We're too hungover to prance.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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