I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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