if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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