i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
