I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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