is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
